If I Were Suddenly a Rich Man

To paraphrase the once famous song from “Fiddler on the Roof,” If I were suddenly rich, the first thing I would do is to hand over my cell phone to an aid whose main job would would be to screen my calls.

Besides the inconvenience, it just gets under my skin that people would be able to use my phone for advertising. I mean, on the radio and TV they pay for virtually all programming, not me. Therefore, I do somewhat put up with their ads. (except for the highly repetitious or stupid ones) On the other hand, I pay for my phone. I pay for my air time. The robocallers don’t care. As long as they have one successful call out of a hundred, they are happy.

It is more than an inconvenience. Twice now, when I was visiting my internist, he had to stop to reply to a robocall. That is not just inconvenient but it also digs into his valuable time. He doesn’t have the option of ignoring the calls. The one he ignores just might be an important customer, or maybe the hospital.

Somehow, they found out I am retired. Now they are trying to sell me health insurance…twice a day. For those that might be reading this, don’t waste your time. I already have insurance for my wife and I. Since, we had it, we hardly paid a dime on doctors or hospitals. No need trying to sell anything to me.

One day a fella called, implying that I was under investigation by the FBI. (These guys get very inventive.) FYI: I called the FBI and they said they don’t do things like that. The agent said that if they wanted to talk to me, they would come out to my house. Also, the agent was more than happy that I had the phone number of the the guy that called.

I really don’t know what one thing had to do with the other, but I have never received any more calls like that.

Getting back to my point, it would just really be nice to have someone screen my calls. Also, if Biden were to call me, it would really, really be nice to put him on hold. It would be sort of be like the thousands of calls made for help from Afghanistan while he wonders the halls of The White House trying to figure out where the oval office is.

Also, I would really, really like it if the FBI would make one of those house calls on Fauci.

Orange County Housewives?

I have seen the show advertised on TV a number of times. I really have no interest in the show or anything like it. However, it did draw my curiosity in one respect, which Orange County?

As a boy grew up in Garden Grove, CA, a city in Orange County. If you check the map, you will find it is just down the road from Disneyland. Then, I noticed a mechanics show on TV, which took place in Orange County. I assumed it was in CA. Surprise, surprise. It was in New York State. I had a hard time wrapping my head around that one. I didn’t know they grew oranges in NY…maybe they don’t I don’t know why the county got its name.

Then one day, quite by accident, I found out that there is an Orange County in FL. That does make sense. They do grow oranges in FL, though they are nowhere near as good as the ones from CA.

Then, about a week ago, I found out there is an Orange County TX. I have no idea if they grow oranges but I suppose the they might. I guess they have the climate for it provided it is not too far north. Oranges are very subject to freezes. One cold winter can kill off all the trees. It doesn’t do the crop any good either.

So now here I am, trying to figure out which Orange County the show is about. Oh by the way, I looked on the internet and there are apparently also Orange Counties in Virginia, Indiana, N.C. and VT. In addition, there is an Orangeburg in South Carolina. I don’t know for sure if I included them all here, but apparently there are nine altogether when Orangeburg is included. That is just almost one tenth of the states. It is over one tenth if you only count the contiguous 48 states.

At any rate, I watched the show for about 15 minutes. I did not find anything that truly told me which of the Orange County housewives they were referring to. There was neither a description in the program nor within the little bit I watched.

I did come up with two conclusions about it. First, it had to be pretty much south as the season was Christmas and no one was was wearing any coats. Second, if you didn’t watch the show, you haven’t missed anything, that is unless you are the type who enjoys watching grass grow.

Home Shield Advertising

I just saw the advertisement for Home Shield advertising for the ten thousandth time. (I might be off ten or twelve times but who’s counting.)

In the ad they speak of all sorts of things working improperly or not working at all. I find the ad not only ridiculous but downright juvenile as well. I have no plans of paying for repair of products before they break down.

On the other hand, if they are selling the self-powered chairs that can just roll down the sidewalks, I’ll take two. Make that four. My dogs would just love them too,

Wendy’s, Are You Listening?

I suspect not. It think it would be more likely that Dave would hear me than the staff he left behind.

Just the same, if you are listening, you just lost a customer. I just finished a game of Free Cell and clicked on ‘New Game.’ Almost instantly, without warning, I heard this loud voice accompanying a Wendy’s add. I jumped three or four inches out of my seat. Once I recovered, I muted the sound and waited until the add was done. Learning my lesson, I think I shall mute the sound before clicking on new game again. That really was quite a start and it didn’t do my ears any good either.

Anyone else listening, you might take this as a warning. You pull this one on me and I won’t be your customer either. I will also have a tendency to speak badly of you as well. Maybe it won’t make any measurable difference but I think Dave would be ashamed of this add, especially if it happened to him in his later years.

Shame on you for scaring a man out of two years of his life, especially as I have so few left.

The Inexact Art of Advertising

I am told that these advertisers on the Web have a way of knowing just what a person might be interested in. As such, they only send ads that might interest me. If that is the way it is supposed to work, it has failed on me. Not only do I have little interest in any of it, my purchasing power is pretty weak. I don’t buy things unless I need to. Occasionally, I do buy things that I want, but that rarely coincides with anything advertised, on the Net or TV.

They keep advertising these games. Other than chess and solitaire, I don’t play games on my computer. I prefer to use it in more productive endeavors. If Microsoft keeps trying to take control of my computer, I just might break out my Atari and put it it work. Oddly it seemed to be able to do most of what I needed and then some. Moreover, I didn’t need to worry about the Chinese or Ruskies trying to look over my shoulder to see what I’m doing… Not that it would do them any good anyway.

I record the programs on TV that I want to see and I have become expert at at fast forwarding. I can watch an hour show in roughly 40 minutes. I know. The advertisers pay a lot of money to put those shows on and I should watch the ads. I don’t see the point it though. They are advertising things I don’t need or want. What good would it do them if I do watch their ads. I have two computers and, truth be told, I don’t need either of them. I can’t buy any new cars. The old 2008 model I have will likely be the last I’ll ever buy, unless it breaks. There is certainly no way I would ever be able to buy a ‘his and hers’ pickup. It would be ridiculous anyway. I only drive but about 60 miles a week anyway.

In my last post, I already mentioned the Medicare garbage they uselessly throw my way. I already have all mine settled. Between Medicare and our aux. insurance, I’ve hardly paid a dime on medical. Considering I’m 73, that’s not too bad.

The ones that really get me are those ads for AARP. They came out in strong support of Obama care and I will never forgive them for that. When I talked to my insurance agent, I told him I wanted nothing to do with any policy that had to do with AARP. He laughed and said it was kind of going around. I suspect that AARP may rue the day they made that choice. Then again, given their politics, they just may not care. (Also, my best guess is that Obama offered a little persuasion.)

Now, let’s see. There is that company that advertises those shipments of meat. Sorry guys. You’ll not get any orders from me. Kroger or Walmart is good enough for me– and I don’t have to wait for it.

As you can imagine, I can go on and on.

Funny… After playing a game of solitaire the other day, I noticed a web ad that said something to the effect that Ford, F150s are less expensive than I think. Okay. It doesn’t hurt to look. Fine. I clicked on it. It took me to a page that had virtually nothing on it except a button with the word ‘go’ on it. That took me to a page advertising Chevrolet pickups. Now I wonder how that happened. Anyway, I have no interest at all in pricing Chevrolets so I immediately left the site and went in and watched advertisements on the TV.

Medicare Season

Medicare season is over, I think. During certain times, people on Medicare can make changes. Apparently, every insurance company in the states knows that. Also, they apparently know those who are on Medicare. I generally get a phone call every other day, sometimes two in one day. They all want to tell me how good their system is compared the rest. Sometimes, they don’t do this so well. For them, English is obviously their second or maybe third language.

I would hope no one in their right mind would discuss their medicare with someone who barely understands English. The other day, I had some sinus problems so I took some antihistamines, put my phone on the charger and went to sleep. I was just about dreaming really nice dreams when my phone started making noises. I jumped up, ran to the other room, picked up the phone and said, “Hello.” Afterward, a woman started her spill about her Medicare system. If you think I kept my cool after that, you don’t know me. Then I spent the next half hour going back to sleep. By the way, dreams don’t work like video machines. Not only was I not able to pick up where I left off, I had no dreams at all.

The irritating thing is, I pay for my phone. The advertisers don’t pay one dime to use my phone and yet they get full use of it. To be sure they advertise about their wonderful plans on TV. Through November and half way through December, all station breaks have Medicare ads, sometimes two. On occasions, I’ve seen the same ad twice in a row. Well, at least that is on them. They pay the bill, every bit of it. Do they help me pay for my phone? Forget it.

Then, of course there are the flyers that come in the mail. It ought to be illegal to make a flyer look like official mail. I have to scrutinize each and every one before I toss it. I have a fear the one I toss just might be real. That’s just not right. They do it on purpose. Everyone of the flyers look official as can be. If I were to respond to one, I would not chose any of those who are trying to deceive me.

I think maybe that I will put a special ring on my cell phone for those I want to speak to. The rest can just sit there and let it ring. After a while they just might get the hint. But then I am something of a realist. I’m not holding out much hope.

Already Christmas?

I heard a Christmas advertisement the other day. I looked over at the calendar and saw we were still a couple of weeks shy of Thanksgiving. The advertisement was for some store suggesting great black Friday savings.

Foolish me! I thought black Friday was the day after Thanksgiving. Okay. I get it. Many businesses have suffered business reversals because of the Chinese virus and riots. The stores need to make up for some serious losses. However, I noticed the toys are being advertised too. I can’t imagine they need to make up that much ground.

Then there is that wonderful Hershey’s Kisses advertisement. If possible, I skip over the vast majority of ads these days. I don’t think the companies would mind much. Even when I did watch them, I paid little attention to them. Even more, I rarely bought their products. I found that what they advertise as a strength was usually the weakest characteristic of their product.

[For instance, Exon advertised how they maintain an environmentally friendly product right after their ship ran aground. Then too, there was that oil platform that caught fire and spread oil all over the Mexican Gulf. There are many others I can site as examples but you likely know them as well as I do.]

However, I do want give Hershey a little slack. First, they make real good chocolate. Second, I really like the little whimsical commercial where the Kisses pretend they are bells. I actually look forward to the commercial. The other day, I saw it; then I backed it up and watched it again.

I have no idea how many years they have used the commercial, but it is still one of my favorites.

Now, if that guy that sells those pillows could come up with a good advertisement. I guess there is no hope there. Pillows aren’t supposed to ring.

Just ‘Cause You Can

Those of you that have read my posts know I have a thing about commercials. There is one commercial that shows “people” who are human only from the waist up. Below the waist, they are a motorcycle.

I don’t find it particularly annoying. They don’t play it too often and there is nothing about it that I find that objectionable. However, like so many commercials, I fail to see their point. I can’t even remember what they are advertising.

The one aspect of it that I find confusing is “Why?” It would seem they have some special FX people who know how to make the impossible appear commonplace. As observers, we are supposed to believe these are special beings, who should possibly deserve special respect. I have no idea why or why we should buy what the advertise.

To me, it would appear the only reason for creating the illusion is because they can. This brings the question to mind. Just because we can do something, does that mean we should? Does that make it the intelligent thing to do?

It would seem to me that many people do things not of necessity, but just ’cause they can. Look at what the democrats did during the last Supreme Court nominations. They accomplished nothing. Indeed, they might have even helped the Republicans elect two more senators. If it wasn’t for a quirk in timing, they would have two less and the republicans would have two more. (Does anyone really believe that Alabama would have elected a democrat if they had a strong republican in the run? Does anyone really think the character will be re-elected this year?)

Now there is another nominee for the the court and it looks like the democrats will make idiots out of themselves again. I don’t know why. I guess it is just ’cause they can.

And by the way, the main line media will be right in their helping them.

Schools and Money

About twenty or so years ago, I had the occasion to be driving through the countryside of Pennsylvanian with a friend. We noticed a huge dome somewhat off the the road and we decided to check it out.

It is the first time either of us was exposed to the Milton Hershey School. They have an extensive exhibit there under the dome. It was founded by the man that started Hershey candies. For those unfamiliar with it, it would do you well to look it up on the web, thought a personal visit would be better.

Every year, hundreds, if not thousands of kids attend the school and they don’t pay one penny in tuition. To the contrary. The school provides food, clothing, and even toys for the students. They have some of the best, most driven teachers and the students frequently go on to good colleges and make very good grades.

As a side note, one thing I did pick up off the web is that the students are 30% Black. That more than doubles their makeup of the US population of 13%.

It is ironic, you can’t buy a better K-12 education anywhere in the world for any price and this kids go there for free.

Things might have changed since I saw the exhibit. However at the time, a child had to have three requirements to get in. They had to be missing at least one parent. They could not have any history of being a troublemaker. Finally, they had have a recommendation, such as clergy or other similar person. I’m sure, if push came to shove there was likely some leeway on the recommendation.

Well, there is one other limit. They could only accept so many students a year.

Now, why should I bring up this subject right now. Well, I heard that Bloomberg just sent 100 million dollars to Florida to help defeat President Trump. Now I word it that way on purpose. I doubt that he is really for Biden. He just does not want to see the president re-elected.

I have my suspicions why. I don’t really want to go into that here. I do want to suggest that he could find many better ways for him to spend his money. If President Trump wins the election, he just dumped 100 million down a big bottomless pit. It will do him no good, or anyone else for that matter.

Well, it will make some advertisers happy.

If Bidden wins, he will learn a little about experience. He will learn what it is like to put the controllers in office. Then, all his billions will do him little or no good. When the communists take over, the rich are their first targets. They will take his money and throw him in prison. They will do it for the good of the state.

Now on the other hand, he just might put some disadvantaged children, especially black children into good private schools. It would cost him about 8,000 per student and he would actually accomplish something with the money. He could put over 1000 kids completely through school which would lift them from poverty.

If he could could talk nine of his billionaire friends to each pony up one-hundred million, that would be 10 thousand kids. Not only would they get a far better education, but all the other kids would get a slightly better education. The money in the public schools wouldn’t need to be divided up as much.

But, alas, let us remember his goal. It is not the good of the kids but rather to destroy President Trump. It is certain that history will never compare him and Hershey on the same page, or for that matter, in the same chapter.

By the way. Bloomberg lives in New York. What is he doing in Florida politics. I know they do it all the time. It doesn’t make it right. I hate it when people come into Mississippi with their money and try to get me to vote the way they want me to vote. None of their business how we vote.

There is legal and there is right. The two are not necessarily the same.


The pro basketball players decided to go on strike, I’m not truly sure why. For that matter, I’m not sure they know why. The pro baseball players have decided not to play. The pro football players have decided to take a knee during The National Anthem.

They all make one mistake. They seem to think they are important. Because they draw a big salary and millions of people watch them, they seem to think they contribute something to society.

They all have big egos because people seek their autograph and wear their shoes. Men fight over the fowl ball hit by one of them. Yet, truth be told, if they all did absolutely nothing for the rest of their lives, the world would not lose a thing.

To be sure, those businesses around the stadiums would suffer. Those who sell the souvenirs would suffer for a while. TV and radio stations would have to find something else to air, but in the end, not one of them would truly be missed.

The actors, directors and producers of Hollywood fame also have the big egos. They think that what they do and what they produce is a necessity of life. The truth of the matter is that not one of them produced a grain of food. Not one of them makes an air-conditioner or automobile.

They all speak to the public as if they know something. However, most actors know nothing more than what is put in their mouth by screenwriters. None of them produce anything more than fantasies. If they all sat down and twiddled their thumbs, the world would be just fine. We would be forced to find something else for entertainment. We might actually play our own games. Some of us might turn to reading books. However, our world, our country and each municipality would be just fine without them all.

So. I ask, just what makes them think they are so important? Is there anything you can put your finger on that they contribute to solve the world’s problems. Why do they think the world spins around them. What makes them think that the world would fall apart without them.

To some degree, the networks are at fault. They pay the teams fortunes to let them air their games. As an aside they advertise the games. They advertise the teams and they imply the importance of the superstar. They get us all involved in points per game, completed passes, and home-runs.

When all is said and done, or, as they really like to say nowadays, “at the end of the day,” none of it matters. It is a fact that they would rather keep quiet. They don’t want us to know how unimportant they are. They want us to believe the world of economics would implode without the all important games.

Just because a man can throw a ball through a hoop, that doesn’t make him one bit smarter. When one of those big famous characters says something, remember, most of them never worked a day in the real world. Some played games for a living. Some pretended to be other people for a living. S were actually kings and queens… in movies. Some have nothing else on their mind other than a little round ball, or a big one. Most of them know nothing else. They have trained all their lives to be able to throw, hit, catch or kick the things. (I’m sure I must have left something out, but you get the idea.)

So, when one of them decides to go on strike, at the end of the day, guess what. I don’t care. It causes me no pain. If the whole bunch never returned to play a game or make a movie, it would mean nothing to me. Baseball, basketball and football are forms of entertainment. Movies, TV shows and stage plays are nothing. I don’t need any of it and neither do you. Don’t let them convince you otherwise.

More important, don’t let them convince you that they are smarter just because they wear a jersey. Don’t let them convince you that they know what they are talking about because they can memorize a script. Not one of them has the ability to put a roof over your family. Not one of them can produce an once of food for you. All their work is less important than the water you drink or the air you breath.

And, by the way, the air you breath is free, at least for now.