A Big Laugh

As mentioned in an earlier post, I’m not much of a comedian. My biggest laughs generally aren’t planned.

Such was the case this afternoon when I ordered a Whopper meal. The woman behind the counter suggested a Big Mac instead.

Believe it or not, I wondered just why the correction; this while I looked right at the menu.

I really enjoy when I can provide a real laugh for someone, especially for the woman who likely was looking forward to a long hard day. I just wish I could bring such effective laughter to to folks by design. Then again, I guess the error is what causes the humor.

At any rate, I was comforted by being told that I was not the first to misspeak. In other words I was not the first to seek a Whopper at a McDonald’s. I would suspect there have been a few who sought Big Macs at Burger King.

As for me, I guess what I really need is a new brain.

Almost Paradise

As I considered the title to this post, I realized I came up with something of a good book title. At least, it seemed that way to me. Now, I need is a good book to go with it. Come to think of it, maybe someone did already. It would be a shame if someone else beat me to it.

The point is that the place I moved to in 1977 was really nice and had been for decades. It was almost paradise, though there were a few problems.

Some of the roads were spread with pot holes. My poor little car had a real problem with the little trailer bouncing around behind us. There were but a small smattering of places to eat and we could find but 1 doctor office, 1 dentist and one pharmacy. The closest hospital was 15 or 16 miles away.

However, the schools were nice and there weren’t many police. Wasn’t much need for them. It truly was almost paradise.

In this world there are problems with paradises. Southern California, before 1950 was an almost paradise. Now, look at it. I won’t go through the list of problems there now. Everyone knows. The desire to live in paradise has destroyed it. Now the U-hauls are leaving and the people are going to other paradises; as Texas, Florida, etc.

in all likelihood, those paradises will be spoiled too. It almost always happens. Unfortunately, paradises draw the unsavory element as well as the exemplary.

It’s happened and is happening where I live. If I possible, I’d leave as soon as i could. If there were an army of police, it would not be enough. The undesirable element is drifting south from Memphis. It does say something about Memphis. No one wants to leave a good place for a worse one.

We now have doctors hospitals dentists, the whole works. Even the streets are smooth. However, it seems that every fourth car I see nowadays has Shelby County plates.

Don’t actually have too much of an objection if they want to spend Tennessee dollars in Mississippi, but they bring their driving habits too. Not only that but they bring their crime, mostly drugs, and robbery too. A couple of years ago, I posted a story about a break in in my house. Dumb thief! One look at my little 900 square foot house and he’d have known I don’t have anything.

The area right across the state line had two big thriving malls and the area around it had a multitude of stores, restaurants and businesses. The malls are now all but closed and the parking lots are all baren.

Needless to say, the value of my little house has skyrocketed. Every time Memphis comes up with a bad idea my property value goes up.

The problem is that as they leave what used to be a near paradise, they bring their stupid ideas with them, and ruin our neighborhoods.

It is not just a local problem. It won’t be long that the illegal aliens will bring their ways to our nation and destroy our national paradise.

This reminds me of a passage in the Bible in which it says that murderers, thieves, liars, adulterers, etc, etc, and so forth will never go to heaven (paradise).

At the time I first read it, I did not see the full significance as I do now. You see, any place where such people are allowed would not be paradise. It would not be long before even the steets of heaven would be ruined. When the corrupt are denied access, about anywhere would be great. Then, with Jesus there too, it will be perfect.

If you would like to go there, you need a reservation. The only way to get the reservation is to accept Jesus as your savior. Then, he will cleanse you. Those not born again are not cleansed. They will not enter paradise. They will only see eternal punishment.

if you think about it, it makes sense. Who wants a paradise full of corruption and the corrupt. Certainly, God doesn’t.

Now if I could just get all these liberals to go back to Memphis where they belong!!

Burrito Withdrawal

I find myself in a conundrum. Taco Bell makes my favorite burritos. On the other hand, I do not like drive-throughs. Being as all the Taco Bells in this area are strictly drive through, I haven’t been getting my share of burritos.

I think it is about time to call this whole pandemic thing off. We have meds that can treat that China stuff and, besides, I don’t like the idea that China won this round of germ warfare. It is time for us to get back to normal and ignore those war-mongers.

As for the increase of cases, someone needs to tell Joe it doesn’t do much good to shut down the airports while he has the southern barn doors wide open. I am sure that at least 1000 people a day are coming up through Mexico from who knows where. About 600 of them have the China virus and they each infect about 1800. Then those 1800 infect about 5000. That kind of isolation never worked and never will.

By the way, some of those illegal aliens have other diseases too, like TB, small pox and maybe a few we don’t know of. And Joe is worried about those coming through the airports?!! What kind of idiot is he listening to?!! The last decade or so, we stopped giving small pox vaccines because it is virtually eliminated.

Guess what happens if it turns into an epidemic in this country now. It just might wipe our half our youth before we figure out what happened. With Joe at the helm, he’ll never figure out what do do after he is told what happened. Has anyone asked Joe if he knows what small pox is and what it does?

Besides all this, I just want to be able to go into Taco Bell and enjoy a good burrito from time to time, sometimes a taco or two.

How to Peel a Banana

Just a quick hint. My wife makes fun of me whenever I pass this on but it works. The natural way to try to peel a banana is to use the stem. However, it works far better if you peel the banana from the other end. It is simpler and faster. Also, it just simply works better. I am told that this is the way monkeys do it. If you like the tip, pass it on.

Looking For More Mens

I know it is improper grammar but I have heard it said before and I think, in this case it is apropos.

I went into McDonald’s and tried to order at the counter. They said, due to lack of personnel (a proper way of saying mens) we would have to order at the kiosk. I told her that I have tried to use the things before without any success. She told me that I had to use the computer to order.

So I went over to the kiosk and tried to order three times without success. I mean I am reasonably persistent. However, logic told me that it would do me little good to continue. I told the woman we would need to go somewhere else. She became impatient with me and went over to kiosk and proceeded to show me how easy it was.

GUESS WHAT? Your right. It didn’t work for her either. She was persistent too. She tried twice on one kiosk and once on two more kiosks.

I can’t blame the woman. To be sure, every one is trying to find more mens. It is literally the FOCs’ fault. They have decided to pay people for doing nothing. So they sit at home and do nothing.

It was, to be sure, the convergence of two problems. The dems and the people who wrote the programing for the kiosk. Maybe I err. It is very possible that it might have been those who made the specifications for the kiosks. Either way, the programming is full of bugs and they just don’t work as advertised.

After working around computers all my life I’d guess it is simply trying to get too fancy. They have all these beautiful pictures up there to help make people hungry and they forget the purpose of the thing… to make it easy to order food.

So, if you are looking on McDonald’s Corp, this is the way I would like it. The screen is large enough to show the whole menu at one time. First, there should be a list off all the menu items. To the left would be a a plus and minus sign. To increase or decrease the count, the customer presses one or the other. Simple. I’m sure there would be dozens of ways to deal with special orders. If nothing else, if four cheeseburgers are being ordered, four lines could be temporarily displayed. pseudo-buttons could be displayed on each line for deleting onions and or mustered, etc.

I am not a professional programmer and I am sure, given a couple of months, I could write such a program in a month or so. It’s not that hard. Like they say in computer programming; keep it simple, stupid. (KISS) Every time you make something more complex, you increase the chances of it malfunctioning. Also, in this case, you make it harder to operate.

Worse yet, instead of saving employee time, it cost this employ about twenty minutes. Then, when it was all over, she had to resort to the old way anyway.

Fixing the kiosk might be McDonald’s idea of resolving the problem. As for me, I’d rather give my order to a human. By the way, a reminder. Some people don’t complain. They just walk out and go somewhere else. It is normally the easiest way of resolving the problem.

As for the more mens problem, let’s just vote the FOCs out of office. The manning levels will then take care of themselves.

A Good Word For McDonald’s

This morning, about 8:00 CT, I went into McDonald’s for breakfast. After paying for it, my food beat me to the table. That will teach me to pause long enough to get one of those numbers I was supposed to put on the table, which by the way, became pretty much useless.

I figure, when I have to wait, I do complain. I should put in a good word when the service is a little extra special. Also, the food was hot and good too.

All You Have to Do Is….

Yesterday afternoon, I stopped by a fried chicken place. I’m not going to use names but it was a well known place. It had advertised that the dinning room was open but I guess, for one reason or the other, they closed it again. There was an employee there and she told me, “You have to drive around.”

I know it is a terminology, but it is one that rubs me the wrong way. Had it not been for the recent problems with the China virus and I do realize it has caused problems, I would have replied, “No, ma’am. I do not have to drive around. I do have the option of going somewhere else or I can go home and make my own dinner.”

It did remind me of a young man I was talking to on a phone. It was back in the days when most people had land lines. I don’t remember what it was but I was trying to buy something. Maybe it was a pizza. It doesn’t matter. He hit my hot button and told me, “All you have to do is….” I don’t remember the rest. It doesn’t matter. I simply told him, “No. I don’t have to do anything.” I was very emphatic and he apparently realized his mistake as he started trying to explain. He didn’t get very far.

Recently, I tried to get a plumber to come out to my house. The woman I was talking to tried to get me to sign up for one of those yearly contracts. I explicitly told her I was not interested and please send out a plumber. She continued and I warned her, “If you continue at this I will hang up.” She did; so, I did. To this day I wonder if the owner realized she cost him a regular customer. I have not gone back to him since.

I am not a business owner nor do I have a degree in business. For that matter, I do not have a degree. However, I have worked in businesses before and I always know better than to tell a customer, “All you have….” It is basic business 101, and all business owners need to tell their employees.

Unlike those of us who have to go to get a driver’s license every couple of few years, most customers are not required to do business with a certain company. Occasionally, things like that do happen, especially in the old days when there was just one store in town and the next one was a two or three days ride away. However, in the case of the chicken place, there were five restaurants around in walking distance. We did not have to go through the drive through and we didn’t.

I know what the woman meant. I know she knew I did not really HAVE to go through the drive through. Still such things irk me. As I say, they push my button. I am a potential customer. I am not in any way captive to their business. More than that, I hate drive throughs, especially after the China virus. For quite a while, I could not find anyplace where I could sit down and eat. (Makes me all the more angry at Fauci. Why isn’t that no good character in prison?) Besides, believe it or not, when I go through a drive through, it generally takes much longer and I burn up a quarter tank of gas waiting.

More than that, people that own businesses should know to tell their employees about things like that. There is far too much competition out there, and some of them don’t require to drive through. Things may yet change but there are many places that now have open dining rooms and the are doing a thriving business.

As for the business that tried to sign me up for the contract. I’m not worried about them. They obviously have more business than they can handle anyway. They clearly did not have time for me.

In it for the Money?

All these years, I thought McDonald’s was in business to make money. However, over the years I’ve started wondering. The was the time the woman at the counter took my order and immediately went to back. I wondered what the reason. Then I found out. I heard her call out, “We need nickles!” This of course she did while I was in a hurry to get to work.

Then there was the day I went in to get some breakfast. After one of the employees stood there and talked on her phone for four minutes. I gave up and went somewhere else. It gives a new meaning to “Fast Food.” I actually wrote a letter to their headquarters over that one. I got a free sandwich over it. No real apology, just a sandwich. By the way, I did remind them that there were three other places nearby where I could get breakfast. They didn’t seem to care. It seemed to be a “So what,” attitude.

I guess they have gotten too many customers. they have this method of thinning them out a little.

Then the other night I ordered Diet Coke with my meal. Guess what, no Diet Coke. They wanted me to buy tea instead. If there is one thing I have learned about dining out — don’t buy what you don’t want just because they don’t have what you do want.

In this day where many of us are diabetic, I cannot understand any restaurant of any kind running out of their only diet drink. It is a triple whammy. It is almost as bad as a place that specializes in hamburgers running out of hamburgers. It’s kind of dumb.

In this case, it left me without a drink for my meal, which irritated me. This discourages me from returning. Moreover, it greatly decreased the profit of their sell. Soft drinks are very high profit items in fast food restaurants. It might seem odd, but they don’t make nearly as much off hamburgers (about 40 – 45% gross profit). Where their real money is made in the soft drinks (about 95 – 96% gross profit).

I don’t think the employees care. They draw the same pay regardless. Most employees, especially new one likely think they make more money off the hamburgers.

The third whammy is a little more long range. When I got my food, I went to a convenience store and bought the drinks, Diet Pepsi, which I prefer. Now I know I don’t have to rely on McDonald’s for Diet Coke. I can buy bigger better sodas for about the same price at a convenience store just down the road. Not only that, if I want, I can buy my sweets at the store instead of from McDonald’s.

Now, if word gets around, McDonald’s just might wish they had an adequate supply of Diet Coke for me.

Then again. I might be wrong. McDonald’s makes a lot more money than me. Moreover, they will likely never hear my complaint. If they do, they will likely assume their “so what,” attitude.

However, if they keep trying to thin out their customer base, they just might find out it works.

Capitalism vs Socialism

A few days ago, I went into a fast-food restaurant,  (not McDonald’s)  The person taking my order was rude and my order was not complete.  I didn’t notice it right away and considering that I was not given a receipt, I figured my chances of getting the remainder of my order improbable.  There were other problems too, but I won’t go into that.

Needless-to-say, I will not be going back to that place.  For those working in or running restaurants, or any business for that matter, it might be something you might want to remember.  I didn’t complain.  I just won’t go back.

It is the nature of capitalism.  For those who do not provide good service, they lose business, possibly, to the point of going out of business.  Those who provide a good product and good service will likely get many return customers.  It’s just common sense.

On the other hand, under socialism, people have no recourse.  The business is run by the state and if you don’t like it, it’s just too bad.  Actually, who am I kidding.  The likelihood of having a decent restaurant in the first place is quite remote.  Restaurant work is hard work.  Without reward, I know of no one who would want to work in one.  Anyone working in one would likely be there by force.  Moreover, no one would have any reason to open such a business.

The fact is, the desire for reward is what makes things work.  You take the reward away, you destroy the desire to work.  More important, you destroy the desire to risk opening a business in the first place.  Indeed, you stifle the desire to invent and develop ideas and concepts.

It is why the US develops more than half the medicines.  I mentioned earlier in one of my other posts how wonderful the devices are that generate oxygen.  At one time, diabetes was a death sentence.  After time, they developed methods of measuring blood sugar.  In the last thirty or so years, they have made great advances in this.  Nowadays, all I have to do is poke myself and put the blood on a strip.  Five seconds later, I know my sugar level.

If it weren’t for the rewards that researchers received, I would likely have to use the Ph strips that were used 30 or 40 years ago.  I don’t know.  I might not have that.  This very moment, they have many advances they are researching and testing.  Likely, within, fifty years, treatment might be as simple as implanting a pump that will sense the amount of sugar in the bloodstream and automatically supply the correct amount of insulin.

Take the rewards away from the people and the companies doing the research, and you can forget it.  We will do well to maintain what we have.

To put it blunt, socialism destroys motive.  Motive is what has brought us out of the stone age.  If you doubt me, consider what wonderful advances have been made in socialistic societies.

Some might like to suggest the Soviet Union or China.  Forget it.  All of their advances are the result of copying our advances.  They are really good at copying things.  Original ideas are something all socialists countries lack.

The really horrible thing about socialism, though, is what it does to societies.  Some, the leaders, have good food, excellent health benefits, and wonderful housing.  The rest, not so much.  It is the modern surf system, but worse.  At least in the old surf system, there was no effort to control thoughts.

Drive Throughs

Perhaps one of man’s worst inventions is the drive-through.  I sit there in line and wait for someone to take my order at the counter and watch five orders go out through the drive-through window.  It just isn’t right.  They always put their highest priority on the drive-through window.  …and by the way, that is also where they put their best employees.

I know why they do it.  It is where they make their big money.  We have a Chick Filet nearby and the drive through generally has at least twenty cars waiting there to get their food.  Okay.  The cars aren’t waiting for the food.  It is the people in them that are hungry.  At least their counter staff is fast and efficient.  Even when the place is packed, I rarely have to wait but a few minutes to order my food.  The problem with them is finding a table.  (The place usually is packed.)

I learned a trick with them.  I park in a large parking lot next to the place.  If I don’t I just about can’t get out because of those trying to get in.  Besides, it does little good trying to find a place to park in their parking lot.  Large though it might be, it is usually full.

One thing I don’t understand is why the dummycrats don’t try to outlaw drive-throughs.  I think of all the other things they try to outlaw and it really makes me wonder.  After all, they were the ones that made McDonald’s get rid of the extra large drinks.  (Now that was dumb.  Now I have to go back and fill my Diet Coke up three times instead of twice.)

At any rate, drive-throughs are very bad for the environment.  Cars sit there and idle, maybe for half an hour.  That is a lot of carbon dioxide they spew out while their owners wait for their food.  Besides, it wastes fuel.  I just wonder how many barrels of oil are used just to allow drivers to sit in their air-conditioned cars while waiting for their food.

For that matter, why do the owners insist on waiting in their cars?  I have half a suspicion that most of them are dummycrats.  After all, none of them are complaining yet.  Moreover, they are likely the ones that are too lazy to walk a few yards from their cars into the restaurant.  (By the way, they don’t usually have to give up their air-conditioning but for a few seconds.  Most restaurants are air-conditioned.)  For some reason, they like to sit in their big SUV’s or pickups and glare at the rest of us for daring to use their precious resources.  …and of course, complain about the big drinks we buy.

Naturally, I just might be wrong, but if the drive-throughs were outlawed, I suspect that it would be the dummmycrats that would yell the loudest.  There would be an exception though.  Those that live in big cities mostly don’t use drive-throughs.  Mostly, they don’t drive.  Mostly, they just like to raise the taxes on the rest of us who do and use it on their buses and trains.

I don’t know New York City too well.  The only time I was there I spent a couple of hours looking out the windows of an airport waiting for a connecting flight.  However, I would guess, in the city proper, there aren’t many drive-throughs.  I suppose there are a few walkups.  It might seem odd to some, but I have seen a few walkups around here, though it was a drugstore.

I think about the craziest I saw was a drive-through pizza place.  To me, that simply does not make sense.  After all, it does take roughly twenty minutes to make a decent pizza.  None the less, it was late and they closed their dining room and counter so all pizzas had to be ordered at the drive-through window.  Needless to say, I took one look at that and found somewhere else.  I wasn’t about to wait until my turn to order my pizza and then wait for the pizza, all the time with my engine idling.  Considering it was near freezing outside, I wasn’t about to wait without the warmth of my heater either.