First, to keep anyone from getting the wrong idea, this applies to both genders. When I use the masculine pronoun, it applies to both male and female, though not necessarily equally. In grammar, we are told to use he or him anytime we know not the gender. I don’t really agree with that, but the only way I know around it is to say him or her or use he/she. That gets clumsy after a while. So to remain grammatically correct, I will use he as well as him for both genders. Of course, no problem with plural. They and them are already clear enough.

At any rate, the reason I write this is that there is something I noticed about people and anger. People, in general hide behind masks. I am no exception. No one knows me better than my wife but there are things even she doesn’t know about me. I would guess it is common with everyone. None of us wants the world to know our deepest darkest secrets and desires. We all hide things, sometimes even from ourselves.

Anger, however does have a tendency to expose some of those things we wish to keep hidden. When we are angry, we lose control of ourselves and we tell others a little of that we would rather not be known. So. If you really want to know that other person, watch what they do when they are angry. That which you see everyday is only what he wants us to see.

We are all experts at pretending to be what we aren’t. Moreover, the more important that that one person is to us, the more we hide what we are from them. It’s just natural.

Here’s one that will likely get me in trouble. It is a common thought that one of the best places to meet the person of your dreams is in a church. After all, we should all be equally yoked. It’s biblical. However, it is also one of the worst places to meet a your future mate.

He is going to be at his best behavior in church. He will be hiding his real self from others more while in church than when he is in a bar with all his rowdy buddies. Just saying. Moreover, he will be even more careful not to lose his temper. I mean, we Christians just aren’t supposed to lose our tempers. It’s what we are taught even while we are still in diapers.

But we do. In spite of my best efforts, I lose my temper. I say things that I later wish I hadn’t said and I do things I wish I hadn’t done. Daily, I practice control from the time I wake until the time I sleep. However, it’s a good thing the TV doesn’t get its feelings hurt. My wife does ask me from time to time why I yell at the TV or radio. She said it won’t do any good. On the other side, it doesn’t hurt anyone either. Better I take out my anger at it. Well, maybe there are exceptions. I have managed to keep from losing it bad enough to put my foot through the thing, tempting as it is. I did hear on the news of a sheriff that put a bullet through one. I wonder if he went through any anger management courses.

I don’t know. I am not sure but I think anger is something that only humans have. Generally, when one animal attacks another, it is mostly for self-preservation or food, sort of the same. However, mankind can do some pretty horrid things while angry, especially while under the influence. Oddly, men have been known to kill their wives, the person he’d likely give his life to protect. Both men and women abuse their children while out of control. I simply don’t understand it. And, by the way, some of these people are highly respected members of churches.

I don’t understand it. I have seen it. I have heard of it. A leader of a church loses his temper and a very pleasant, amiable woman ends up in the hospital. Try as I might, I can’t figure it out. Well. I’m not alone. I suspect there are likely many in law enforcement that have seen it more than I have.

Oddly, for this reason, I make two important suggestions. If you are one of those, as me, who has a tendency to lose his temper… when you see you are losing it, walk away… before you do something you will be sorry for later, as I have. It’s why I take a walk when I feel myself hitting the boiling point.

Secondly, advice that is worth all your paying for it, don’t marry someone until you’ve seen him angry. If you have never seen him or her angry, then you don’t know him. I can assure you of it. Besides, it’s common sense. If that person is the type that will resort to physical violence, better to know before the “I dos.”.

One more little thing, a guarantee. If you do not know what he will do when angered before you get married, you will afterward. There are no backspace keys in life. Therefore, be careful before making those those lifelong decisions. Divorces are possible, but it will not erase that mistake that was made.