If I Were Suddenly a Rich Man

To paraphrase the once famous song from “Fiddler on the Roof,” If I were suddenly rich, the first thing I would do is to hand over my cell phone to an aid whose main job would would be to screen my calls.

Besides the inconvenience, it just gets under my skin that people would be able to use my phone for advertising. I mean, on the radio and TV they pay for virtually all programming, not me. Therefore, I do somewhat put up with their ads. (except for the highly repetitious or stupid ones) On the other hand, I pay for my phone. I pay for my air time. The robocallers don’t care. As long as they have one successful call out of a hundred, they are happy.

It is more than an inconvenience. Twice now, when I was visiting my internist, he had to stop to reply to a robocall. That is not just inconvenient but it also digs into his valuable time. He doesn’t have the option of ignoring the calls. The one he ignores just might be an important customer, or maybe the hospital.

Somehow, they found out I am retired. Now they are trying to sell me health insurance…twice a day. For those that might be reading this, don’t waste your time. I already have insurance for my wife and I. Since, we had it, we hardly paid a dime on doctors or hospitals. No need trying to sell anything to me.

One day a fella called, implying that I was under investigation by the FBI. (These guys get very inventive.) FYI: I called the FBI and they said they don’t do things like that. The agent said that if they wanted to talk to me, they would come out to my house. Also, the agent was more than happy that I had the phone number of the the guy that called.

I really don’t know what one thing had to do with the other, but I have never received any more calls like that.

Getting back to my point, it would just really be nice to have someone screen my calls. Also, if Biden were to call me, it would really, really be nice to put him on hold. It would be sort of be like the thousands of calls made for help from Afghanistan while he wonders the halls of The White House trying to figure out where the oval office is.

Also, I would really, really like it if the FBI would make one of those house calls on Fauci.

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