The Theory of Rain

During my military service, I was assigned to Naval Air Station Memphis, located in Millington, Tennessee, a suburb north of Memphis. The region was notorious for its generally predictable weather patterns, particularly its tendency to rain at the most inconvenient times. My fellow service members and I frequently discussed the frustrating meteorological phenomenon where clear, sunny skies would suddenly give way to intermittent rainfall starting Friday afternoon and persisting through the weekend.

As a sergeant, my crisp class C dress uniform demanded immaculate presentation. That day, which had begun with brilliant sunshine, transformed into heavy rain just prior to time to secure. Approaching the exit, I paused, studying the rain through the window with a mixture of resignation and frustration. Experience had taught me the harsh reality of local weather patterns – this downpour would persist with stubborn determination.until I was in my car.

An attractive lance corporal approached from behind, her footsteps light and purposeful. She halted, a wry smile playing across her lips. “Don’t worry, sergeant,” she quipped, her tone laced with playful reassurance, “you aren’t made of sugar and you won’t melt.”

I gazed back at her, taken aback by her unexpected comment. With a hint of irritation, I responded, “My priority isn’t personal comfort. I’m focused on preserving the integrity of my uniform.”

The rain cascaded around her as she burst into laughter, stepping into the downpour with carefree abandon. Her practical work attire, unlike the dress uniforms, meant she cared little about the water’s impact on her clothing. An instant later, I abandoned the shelter of the building, stepping into the deluge. Within seconds, my clothes were drenched, clinging to my skin. Predictably, the rain ceased its assault the moment I settled into my car.

Actually, rain almost anywhere does seem to arrive at some of the most inconvenient times. This particular uniform was hardly the only one that was soaked, just maybe the more frustrating.

Nonetheless, over the years, I did come up with a theory about rain—one that held true even during the hard rains in Vietnam. You can only get so wet. After that, the excess simply falls off. As uncomfortable as it may be, it cannot cause real harm.

While I appreciate staying dry, I’m not alone in my sentiment. Recently, I learned the Marines have updated their regulations, now permitting personnel to carry umbrellas while in uniform. Such a practical change would have been welcome decades earlier, offering us marines much-needed protection from the elements during outdoor duties.

The Slip & Slide

The other day when I wrote about things that make me laugh, I did leave a big one out that I did remember. When the kids were young, we frequently went to see the local team, The Memphis Chicks.

During our time at the ballpark, we were fortunate to witness several exceptional talents, including the remarkable pitcher David Cone. From the moment I first saw him play, I was convinced he was destined for a stellar career in the major leagues.

If my memory is correct, we attended a baseball game, eagerly anticipating David Cone’s pitching performance. His reputation on the mound drew us to the stadium, hoping to witness his skill and precision in action.

In the midst of a typical Memphis downpour, the groundskeepers swiftly unfurled the protective tarp across the baseball diamond. Somewhere around the fourth inning, Cone, with a burst of playful energy, took a running start and dramatically slid across the rain-soaked tarp, creating a moment of unexpected levity during the weather delay.

As the thunderous applause erupted, he rose triumphantly, arms raised in a victorious gesture. Suddenly, the umpires burst onto the scene, their stern expressions cutting through the celebration, swiftly guiding him away from the tarp with sharp, authoritative gestures.

As the umpires retreated, Cone glanced over his shoulder, then back at the tarp. Suddenly, he sprinted toward the plastic covering, sliding with even more enthusiasm than before. Drenched from head to toe, he was clearly reveling in the moment until the umpires charged after him, shouting and gesturing emphatically.

David Cone’s daring slides captivated the crowd, each one more audacious than the last. Despite the umpires’ apparent frustration, their reactions seemed suspiciously choreographed, as if part of an unspoken performance. His bold maneuvers, while technically questionable, were executed with such flair that even the officials appeared more bemused than truly angry. The electric atmosphere of those moments was infectious, stirring a vicarious thrill that some spectators likely yearned to join the spectacle, to feel the rush of defying convention on the baseball diamond.

I vividly recall the event, certain that a recording must exist somewhere. Upon returning home, the scene unfolded on television with an almost choreographed precision. Despite extensive online research, I couldn’t definitively verify Cone’s involvement. If anyone has concrete information, I would greatly appreciate hearing from you.

Seeking insights on the potential pricing of tarps and exploring a modest revenue opportunity through slide-based services.