First, Catch the Ball

Okay. I wasn’t the best in the little league, though I thought I was better than the coach thought I was. One thing I will say, I never missed a ball during a game while I played first base. It was because of something my brother taught me. First, catch the ball.

That is to say, no matter what you plan to do after you catch it, make sure to catch it. It seems so obvious but I have seen even the pros start to throw someone out at first before he caught the ball. That is embarrassing. Even more, it can cost the game. Not only can’t you not make the play without the ball, but if that ball goes on out into the field, it can cost runs. Worse, it allows that other batter to come to the plate and hit the little pill over the fence.

To be sure, it takes determination. The instant that hard hit grounder starts in your direction, you must make the determination to catch, or at least stop that ball. No matter what else you did before or will do after, that is the number one concern.

Strange as it might seem, I saw first one football player, then the other a short time later drop an almost perfect pass. They had both their hands on the ball and it was very catchable. In both cases, they started making their plans for what they were going to do after getting the ball… then they dropped the ball.

Excuse me, but aren’t these guys getting at least 6 figures a year. Perhaps I have it wrong, but I would think the coach would really want a receiver who would first catch the ball. I mean I’m not one of those high paid coaches, but as I have said before, I am available. I mean, I do understand the basics, like catching the ball.

It is really nice to be the fastest on the field. However, it won’t do you a bit of good if you can’t put your hands around that ball and secure it firmly. Then you can run. Then you can go through all those elusive moves. But first catch it. As I said, I learned that in Little League. My guess is that most of the football players learned the importance of holding onto the ball in high school. I am sure it has been stressed repeatedly in college.

It is as that architectural engineer wrote, “The most important thing, is to keep the most important thing, the most important thing.”

It is important in baseball. It is important in football. Actually, it is the most important thing in just almost everything. This means, it is really difficult to keep a nation a representative republic when you can’t even keep the elections honest. I mean, it is sort of the most important thing.

How to Win at Football

It’s easy. I have been observing and I believe I have the perfect method to win and I could beat any of the other teams.

  1. Don’t get penalized. I have noticed that penalties almost always kill drives, especially the 10 yard variety. The 15 yard types are the really bad stoppers. When I see a fifteen yard penalty on TV, the cameras almost always cut to the coach, who is generally ready to start pulling his hair out. On occasion, I have seen one of them jump up and down and yell. It doesn’t do any good. Better to tell the players not to commit the penalties.
  2. Do not fumble or get intercepted. Turnovers are particularly bad when it is close to one end of the field or the other. Imagine the team is on the five yard line and drops the ball. Yeah. That is not a good way to get on the good side of the coach. On the other hand, fumbling the ball on your own 10 yard line isn’t good either.
  3. Long gains are good. However the real secret to winning is to make sure you gain 5 1/2 yards per play. This will get you first down after first down with a good margin for error, especially in light of item 4.
  4. Make sure the quarterback never gets sacked. All offensive plays should result in positive yardage.
  5. Make sure that each possession of the ball should result in some kind of score, even if it is a field goal. For this reason, it is good to have a kicker who has a cannon for a leg. If he can kick a field from the 50 yard line, it will have a very positive outcome on point production. It means that it is not necessary to reach the goal to score, only the opponents 40 yard line. It really puts a lot of pressure on the opponent’s defense.
  6. Defensively, remember, don’t allow the other team to do any of the above.

Now that I have shown I know how to win football games, I offer my expertise to someone willing to pay me a few million dollars. I am not greedy. 10 million will be fine.

As an aside, I find it interesting that football coaches get paid more the the commander in chief. This is true even though the coaches army is far smaller. Does that mean that a football coach is more important?