Years ago, I bought one of those TI calculators that does everything. Many might not remember them, but it had a card reader and was really slick. I really used it a lot. I even wrote about a dozen programs that, at the time, were pretty useful.

It came with several magnetic strips that allowed it to do a lot of things I didn’t understand. I suspect if I had a math degree, it would make a lot of sense to me. But, I suppose it was like I was a kid set loose in a toy store and I hadn’t a clue as to how to play.

Well, I guess that’s not so, but I can’t come up with a better analogy. For instance, let me explain this one card. I loaded it and followed the instructions. Before I knew it, I was finding integrals—and I didn’t even know what an integral was.

I knew I had figured out something useful. I just had no idea what it was useful for. I mean, someone went through a lot of effort to write that little program. So it must have been something important to someone.

I launched a two-part mission. Firstly, I was determined to find out what an integral is. I actually succeeded at that, though it wasn’t so easy. Secondly, I wanted to know how it would be useful. For this, I am a total failure.

Having worked around computers for much of my life, I became familiar with some people who had math degrees. That’s right. They were very familiar with exactly what an integral is. However, when I asked them what an integral is useful for, you would think I was prying to find some important national secret.

Okay. Another bad analogy, but I am sure you understand my point. Apparently, not everyone knows what an integral is useful for. Moreover, those who do know aren’t talking, at least not with me.

Who knows? Maybe, if I could find out how to use integrals, I might have become a millionaire. I mean, I had a machine that could calculate them by just pushing a few of the right buttons. However, I lost out. Alas, I was denied the millions because I could never figure out what they were for.

Just off hand, anyone out there need some integrals. I can sell you some, cheap.