I have suspicions I’m not alone. They come loose, invariably at the wrong time. I used to be able to balance on one foot while tying the lace of the other. Not no more. It generally means finding a place to lean on for the few seconds.

I have no earthly idea how many times I have stepped on a shoestring, untying it. Then I look around in hopes of finding something to lean on. Of course there is nothing.

Then of course, there is that proverbial fraying lace, the one I have been meaning to replace for over a week. I give it a tug and suddenly it’s 2 pieces. Now I am faced with the problem of figuring out what to do with what is left. Naturally, none of the options quite work.

I go to a store that sells shoestrings and they have every size but the one I need. I buy some too long. The short ones won’t work at all. Without success, I try finding a way to take up the slack. Then, sure enough, after I manage as best I can, I stand, take two steps. The 2nd one is on the string.

Then, I see the add on TV, the one about sketches, no laces. I’m thinking, wonderful! Someone is finally thinking of me. As it becomes time to buy new shoes, I go into the local shoestore.

Fantastic. They carry the advertised shoes. I look and I search. I can’t find any size 14. That’s right. I have big feet. Some would call them large.

I got on the internet and to my surprise, I find out they have a local distributor. To my dismay, I find out they don’t make 14s.

I hate shoestrings. I don’t think I’m alone.